God Weeps
Sexual abuse by Catholic Clergy – Imagining a conversation with Pope Francis
On Monday, September 28, 2015, the day following the visit of Pope Francis to the United States and Cuba, I read many words of support and many words of criticism of what Pope Francis had to say about the history of sexual abuse by priests and the historic, long term subsequent cover-up by many leaders of the Roman Catholic church. Pope Francis in addressing an international collection of bishops and clergy said:
“God weeps,” he said before an international collection of bishops and clergy gathered at St. Charles Borremeo Seminary outside the city. “It continues to overwhelm me with shame that the people who were charged with taking care of these tender ones violated their trust and caused them tremendous pain,” he said, according to the Washington Post translation of his remarks, delivered in Spanish.
In the same Washington Post article it was reported:
On his last day, the pope addressed church leadership again – this time revealing he had just met privately with five survivors of abuse, assuring them he believed their stories and vowing that clergy and bishops would be held accountable for “the sins and crimes” of abuse.
In the “theguardian.com”:
“Campaigners reacted angrily to the response on sexual abuse, with Keith Porteous Wood of the UK's National Secular Society branding it "a brazen failure".
"Many will be disappointed and surprised by this slap in the face to the tens if not hundreds of thousands of suffering victims and to a United Nations body," he said in a statement.”
Pope Francis had refused to give the UN committee specific details of sexual abuse cases.
The handling of reports of sexual abuse by priests and Bishops has rocked the Catholic Church for a number of years. The church leadership has paid out millions of dollars and, in many cases, agreed to hand over those accused of sexual abuse of children to legal authorities. No one doubts that for years priests who abused children sexually were all to often simply transferred. Tis resulted in the abuse of other children. Although allegedly this practice no longer happens in the United States some reports contend that some accused priests formerly serving in the United States are able to function in priestly roles in some South American Churches. (See article in USA Today issue of 09 17 1915).
Very few people would disagree that the historic failure of the Catholic Church to honestly and effectively address the reality of sexual abuse has resulted in and continues to result in enormous pain to individuals and families. The dysfunction and dishonesty related to sexual activity of priests mandates that we address the following issues:
· Individual being pressured to engage in sexual acts with a person who one needed to remain in the father, mentor, and trusted adult role.
· Confusion of the “victims” about their sexual feelings as a result of the abuse. Did this mean that they were gay? Had they caused or somehow invited the abuse? Did the fact that they sometimes enjoyed the touching and resultant sexual release make them equally “guilty”
· The difficulty in finding someone who both believed the abused and who could respond with empathy without encouraging them to live a life of victimhood.
· Knowing that the abuse continued with others.
· For many years, victims not being able to get support from Bishops or other church leaders.
· The pain of the priests who committed the abuse who did not know how to get help for their “dis ease”.
· The inability of the church leaders to deal with both those being abused and those committing the abuse in a way which was/is consistent with the healing, forgiving messages of Christ.
· The lack of realistic and practical guidance to priests about sexual feelings.
· The ongoing failure of the church leaders to admit to the fact that many priests are sexually active. Consider the following:
“Roman Catholic clerical culture favors doctrinal rigidity, conformity, obedience, submission and psychosexual immaturity, mistaken for innocence, in its candidates. These are the personality elements that lead to advancement and power in the clerical system. Single men are more easily controlled if their sexuality is secret. Double lives on all levels of clerical life are tolerated if they do not cause scandal or raise legal problems. Sexual activity between bishops and priests and adult partners is well known within clerical circles. The secret system forms a comfortable refuge for unresolved gay conflicts. There is a new emerging awareness of the systemic nature of sexual/celibate behavior within the Roman Catholic ministry that is increasingly destabilizing to the church.” Ncronline.org, A.W.Richard Sipe, 4/28/10 Secret sex in the celibate system
In my role as a licensed counselor, former pastor and friend to many Catholic priests I have been educated about the difference between chastity, celibacy, and abstinence. Many have told me that while they are fully committed to their vow of celibacy (refraining from any willful sexual release) they can practice chastity and be sexually active. As near as I can determine abstinence may or may not allow for masturbation (a willful sexual act) but not sexual contact with others.
On reapteam.org (A Catholic youth publication) I found the following: “Chastity is a virtue—not a habit. Chastity is freedom from sexual impurities, not necessarily freedom from sexual activity. We know that God created sex, and everything God created is very good. Within the boundaries of chastity, one can be sexually active. Chastity is the virtue of understanding and respecting sex to such a great degree that one keeps it in the appropriate time and place (marriage). Every man, woman, and child in the world can be living chastity—priests, religious brothers and sisters, single people, married couples, and teenagers. It’s a lifestyle choice. It means that you understand the power of sex enough to keep it in marriage.”
On the web site of A.W. Richard Sipe he reports:
“The number of clergy who practice celibacy is another question. In 1994 Cardinal Jose Sanchez, then head of the Vatican Congregation for the clergy said “I have no reason to doubt the accuracy of those figures” when he was asked his opinion on studies that claimed that at any one time between 45% and 50% of priests were not practicing celibacy. “
· The undisputed fact reported by researches and many lay people that many Catholic lay people practice birth control methods other than abstinence and the rhythm method. This is despite the public outcry by American Bishops about the requirement that the Affordable Care Act mandated insurance carriers paid for birth control medications. (Exceptions for some religious institutions have been made.)
· The undisputed fact Catholic lay people engage in sexual activity prior to marriage and for purposes other than the possibility of conception.
· The fact that there are many gay priests and gay Catholic lay people living a secret life which is very painful and stressful for all involved.
· The need to distinguish between sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children, teenage children and young looking adults.
· The significant issues of priest who enter into sexual activity with a female and in some cases there is physical and emotional abuse.
· The fact that some sexual abuse is directly related to addiction, which has often, but not often enough, been quickly and effectively treated. (In have personally reported sexual abused by a priest with an addiction “dis ease” which resulted in priests being in route to treatment within hours of my report.)
· The inability for priests and others who find themselves being attracted to pre-pubescent children to get help without legal action being taken by the counselor, psychiatrist or other helping professional.
Obviously this is not an exhaustive list. It can be quite a daunting and overwhelming list. My goal is to highlight some of the issues which we, as a society,need to address if we are going to lovingly and successfully support a healing ministry for both those who are sexually abused and those who sexually abuse. We must admit that there are systemic issues both within the Catholic Church (as well as other religious institutions) and within the culture at large. If we are sincerely concerned about the pain of all those involved, we must stop pointing fingers, get very honest, begin to more accurately diagnose the problem(s), design programs of healing for those who are already in pain and repair the system which necessarily results in dysfunction.
As much as I appreciate and respect the compassionate leadership of Pope Francis thus far, we must all be willing to assume some responsibility and to agree, in love, to create a safe place in which we can honestly look at all the factors which continue to cause the dysfunction and resulting pain.
It is very easy to point fingers at the leaders of the Catholic Church, at the judicial system, or the secular leaders. The truth is that we, as a society, must commit ourselves to a process of honestly, open mindedness, and willingness to face who we are emotionally and sexually; to quit focusing on blaming and punishment; to stop the artificial duality of victim and abuser (overt and covert); and to let Pope Francis and others know that we will no longer punish the truth teller.
We have put our church leaders as well as other leaders in the impossible position of attempting to support our desire for action while obeying our directive that they not tell “the truth, the whole truth and nothing both the truth”.
Is it not possible that the God of our understanding alternates between weeping for the pain we cause ourselves and others and laughing at the fact that “the emperor wears no clothes”? Do we really want to continue to posit a God who is STUPID; who does not know that we constantly speak with forked tongue while both pointing and giving the finger?
Written September 28, 2015
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